Well just have to admit, I am not doing too well at the moment. I got to say that I am feeling less and less confident in my ability to cope with Saturday and Sunday.. I know I ‘should’ be reframing thoughts positively but at the moment, I am on an emotional roller coaster and I fear my defences are down. I feel tired, weak and not up to much.. except a few tears here and there.. I know or rather I can see I am in victim mode at the moment…
Victim mode in terms of change means:
· Resisting Change
· Feeling Angry or Depressed
· Reverting to old ways of doing things
· Isolating oneself.
· Failing to ask for help…
Hmmmm
I don’t feel ‘safe’ – thought number 1.
I feel like the light has gone out of my life.
I don’t want to be around people.
I feel like I need to shut down for a while.
I feel like I have a hole from the top of my throat to the sides of my chest to the pit of my stomach.
I don’t think I should be flying when I am in a highly emotional state..
I really don’t want to pike but today it all just seems insurmoutable. I feel like my plug has been pulled and all the light drained out of my life.. I don’t know if getting in a plane or a lift or facing my fears is the best course of action right now.. or is this just a classic form of avoidance. I wish I could speak to Madalyn about this .. I just don’t know where to next except to just take one minute at a time at the moment…I don’t even know why I came to work today… to be honest.. I am a basket case.. usually I am strong and resilient but this has knocked me around.
I will sign off now as I am depressing myself, and the rest of you lot!
N
Thanks,
Nikki Ward | IT Documentation and Training Analyst
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Tatts Group
240 Sandgate Rd, Albion, Queensland, 4010, Australia
Tel: 07 3637 1445 | Fax: 07 3262 5742
Blog: http://thetechwriter.wordpress.com
SP Blog: http://myworkcentre/personal/nikki_ward/workblog/default.aspx
IT Training Blog: http://tattscentral/sites/technology/BusSystems/Training/ITTrainingBlog/default.aspx
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